so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
