Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
