i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
