I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
