how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
