We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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