Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
