I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
my poor anus
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
