He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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