remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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