She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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