moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize