im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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