My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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