Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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