Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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