try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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