sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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