We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
