she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
