I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
