Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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