do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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