Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
