Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
