You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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