Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
