My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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