We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
