I wish I only lived at night.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
