I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
