So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
