I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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