look no pants
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
