now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
