My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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