butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
