as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
