I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
