well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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