she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize