Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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