how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
