If that was your dad, he is hot
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
