my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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