I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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