Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my being single is dangerous.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
