Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
