Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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