Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
