I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just found a bag of teeth...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
