when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
