I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
