Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
