Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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