i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
