just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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