Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
