I think scott just propositioned me for sex
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Randomize
