I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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