I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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