i need an iv and a liver transplant
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
