yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
