You're my little dorito
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
